There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
