thus making me awesome and them whores
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
