The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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