she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
