she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
