if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
