I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
