he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
