Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
