I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
