half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
