I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
