how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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