Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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