who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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