wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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