Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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