Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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