They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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