I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
