I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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