we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
