how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
