i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
