YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
