didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
