everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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