the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
