So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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