i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize