Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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