He asked to "fluff my boner.."
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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