My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
