mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
