i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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