you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
