Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
