why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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