Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
