Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
