You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
