Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
