you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A+ Viking dick
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
