I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize