So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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