i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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