I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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