She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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