I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize