I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I supernannyed him into submission
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