Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
