Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
