fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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