if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am midnight drunk by noon
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
