I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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