I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
