North Korea, Best Korea!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
